Are You Ever Too Old for a Bikini?

My daughter is having a beach weekend wedding. A lot of conservative friends and family will be in attendance. I’ve been looking for a special suit to wear for the beach party and found a really pretty bikini, but I’m concerned about appearing exhibitionistic or trying to look too young. I can absolutely pull this suit off, but should I? — Liz, Philadelphia

Last year, not long after she turned 50, Gabrielle Union-Wade talked to the “Who What Wear podcast” about criticism she had received on Instagram about posting lots of photos of herself in a bikini.

“Somebody said, ‘You’re old enough to be somebody’s grandma. Why are you still in, like, wearing swimsuits?’” she recalled. “I’m, like, ‘First of all, they’re not just swimsuits. They are thongs. And you’re going to see these cheeks until my ass literally falls off, and I might just wear a bikini in the coffin.’”

Later, discussing how women becoming invisible in Hollywood after age 35, she added, “We need to boldly take up space and boldly claim and acknowledge our own beauty in all that we do, instead of waiting.”

There is nothing more effective for confronting those around you with the reality of your self at any age — and all the prejudices and subconscious biases about women and age — than a bikini.

That’s why the question of “to bikini or not to bikini” is one thing if you’re at home, say, or at a friend’s pool and an entirely different one if you are at a beach or public event. And these days the question is really about psychology and sociology rather than physique.

At a home pool, the answer, of course, is simple: Wear whatever swimsuit makes you feel happy. Or no swimsuit at all, if you want. Age has absolutely nothing to do with it. Nor does body type.